A Journal

1992:

Newly Weds Make a Journal For The Memories to Come, Flip to First Page, Insert Quote

“Can you play me a memory/ I’m not really sure how it goes/ But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete” –Billy Joel

1996:

Loving Couple Hope, Go to Doctor, Seven Words Leave Them in Tears

2000:

Woman Throws Up At Same Time For a Week, Doctor Concluded to Have Made An Error

She was 36

Hair still bright and skin still smooth

She was seen as old, already wrinkled and stout 

But she didn’t care because this was her dream, their dream

2001:

Doctors First Error Revoked, Changes Diagnosis From Can’t to Unsafe

Her third trimester came, tissue tearing as time ticked too slow

The blood flowing down with her tears

She was bedridden

Writing with felt tipped ink, number

After number

Of songs that she would slide into slots like credit cards

The ones used to get the blankets

And crib 

And clothes

She was timed in the shower

Relaxing under the thin rivets as she took her first in weeks

But my dad stopped this relief after 5 minutes, not wanting to lose this game of deadly hopscotch

As he rushed her toward the bed, her rotund mass stumbling over linoleum and carpet

Backing hurting and muscles sore 

Having to roll around and stuff pillows into gaps to get at least some form of relief

I was a parasite they had to work for

Draining them of will power instead of blood

I forced them to change

My dad having to make sure all the whites didn’t turn pink

Having to make sure he didn’t lose his mind going through aisles of meat and bread

Not to mention driving 30 minutes to the Dairy Queen all the way in Tunnel Road when her cravings were at their peak

And I am so thankful

2001-Present:

Parents Try Their Best to Raise Little Girl, Finally Make Memories to Remember 

My dad would help me get to sleep until age 10

He would give me piggy back rides and chocolate milk before bed

Chase my around the yard until I was out of breath

He would put a bandaid on my knee to stop the tears 

And make me giggle like a thousand bells

I am thankful

For my mom giving me advice, braiding my hair, helping me make cookies

Showing me Beauty and the Beast and Snow White so I could feel like a princess

Introducing me to Luke Skywalker and Marty McFly so I could feel like a hero

As well as giving me the ability even while in the womb to listen to

Billy Joel

Elton John

ACDC 

Pink Floyd

And so many others who have helped my anxiety dissipate

Made my creativity flourish 

Today:

Girl Says I Love You Everyday, Still Doesn’t Feel Like It’s Enough, Writes Poem

I know that all kids say the default answer

“I’m obviously thankful for both of you. Why wouldn’t I be.”

At the table for Thanksgiving dinner, waiting for the turkey to be cut, foot tapping to a rhythm only defined as inpatients 

And I bow my head and listen to blessings for a God I am losing faith in because He has given me only hell for 2 years and all I care about in that moment is the food

But then

I see the both of you, smiling and lifting your glass to clink against mine and I put that all aside to say that default answer, because I have both of you

Because I have two individuals who will love each other 

Until they die

And I know how lucky I am

I had both

When I busted my teeth out

I had both

When I couldn’t even hold my head up I was so sick

I had both

When someone broke my heart 

Until there was nothing but splinters 

And regret

You have healed me with an elixir 

Of sarcastic jokes and goofy smiles and tight hugs

As well as a dash of soup and Disney movies

Toiling over your work to make me my best self

The one that cares and loves 

And cries when Sarah McLachlan sings over top of sad puppy eyes

You make it possible for both of my feet to still be firm

On this ground, on this stage

For there to not be scarlet blooming on my skin

And to make it possible for a real smile

To form on these lips

And

Because of that

I love you both

So 

Much

Posted by:emileeh

I'm a young writer trying to get into the freelance business. I enjoy writing creative pieces like short stories and poetry and reviews.

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